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Friday, June 06, 2008 

Send Emails After The Rapture!

The new YouveBeenLeftBehind.com website offers Christians a new evangelism tool that they can use after the rapture has occurred.

For forty bucks a year, your unchurched loved ones can have a second chance to make their decision for Jesus by reading an evangelgram from the other side of eternity.

The site promoting the service says:

"You've Been Left Behind gives you one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends For Christ. Imagine being in the presence of the Lord and hearing all of heaven rejoice over the salvation of your loved ones. It is our prayer that this site makes it happen."

Final e-mails from vanished subscribers will be triggered when three of the site's five Christian staffers fail to log in for six days in a row.

And why would anyone do this you ask? The website explains:

We all have family and friends who have failed to receive the Good News of the Gospel.The unsaved will be 'left behind' on earth to go through the "tribulation period" after the "Rapture"…. Each fulfilled prophecy will cause your letter and plea to be remembered and a decision to be made.

"WHY" is one last chance to bring them to Christ and snatch them from the flames!

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried, I couldn't! I can’t help but wonder when our beloved synod will offer the same service. Oh wait, I forgot, we don't want to snatch the unchurched from the flames but rather we want them to be Ablaze!.


I thought it was "Once saved, always saved." Why only three of the five staffers?

Sure it’s once saved always saved but how can you know? I guess everybody must simply trust God’s sovereignty for comfort there eh?

I’m also guessing the three of five model for triggering the sending out of the emails is a safety measure to ensure theological consensus. The only way any of us should agree on such serious theological matters such as declaring that a rapture has actually occurred is if committees meet, vote, and that vote is confirmed by at least congregational style voter meetings where it can be decided whether or not to upgrade kitchens at district offices. Or better yet, we look for consensus at the highest level with agreement between America’s trinity; Rick Warren, Bill Hybels, and Joel Osteen.

This is a classic fail-safe model like what one would find in nuclear missile silos, the starship Enterprise, Dr. Strangelove, and the Andromeda Strain. The only problem is this: Software errors do happen. What happens when some software date glitch makes the system think these 5 people have been raptured and unable to log-in? All these loved ones get these messages (which should have been delivered in person some time ago) and the family thinks they died (because they were supposedly raptured), etc. This is in reality a classic money raising scheme to take advantage of gullible people who have a false understanding of the end-times.

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