« Home | I’m Not Voting Republican, But… » | “Youth Ministry” E-Bulletin » | The Killing Joke » | “Every Time I Start My Truck, A Polar Bear Dies” » | Send Emails After The Rapture! » | Mini Symposia Dealing With The Means Of Grace » | What If Worship Was Like An NBA Game? » | Pirate Christian Radio » | Irenic Missions Reductionism » | A Must Read Post Over At Stand Firm » 

Friday, June 20, 2008 

Deviating From My Zombie Action Plan

The world will end, period. However, what will not happen is a rapture that will leave a whole bunch of folks “left behind” so they will have a second chance to make a decision to accept Jesus into their hearts. The theological term for this whole “left behind” nonsense is premillennial dispensationalism and is contrary to the teaching of Holy Scripture. For more on why Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins’ are oh so wrong go here.

But the world will end and the only thing up for debate is how. Personally my thought is it’ll all end with zombies. I’m not sure if it will be the slow moving George Romero types or the fast moving 28 Days Later rage filled ones, but I’m near certain it will be zombies. Good ole flesh eating zombies. Yep, that’s the ticket, zombies.

Which is why of course I think everybody needs to have a zombie action plan. Just like we all need to be prepared for floods, hurricanes, and other natural disasters, it’s important to have a plan to deal with the inevitable inundation of zombies. In addition to normal food stuff that you will need for any natural disaster the adding of many large caliber weapons for defense is well advised. I’m near certain that the founding fathers had zombies in mind when writing the second amendment to the constitution. They were a smart bunch back then.

Also, the best thing to do is go it alone. At the end of the day it is better for everybody involved if we all take the every man for himself approach. Having to keep track of even one other person can be a distraction that may lead to a bite by one of the infected. That would be very bad. This may sound selfish but it is a matter of survival, plain and simple. Going it alone increases the chances of continued existence in a world overrun by a vast plague of undead.

So that’s the plan; stock up on food, don’t forget the guns, and go it alone and never look back.

But Heaven's to Betsy there is that little problem of my missus in the whole zombie action plan thingy. As we will be married sixteen years tomorrow, I think I’m gonna have deviate from my plan should we be overrun by flesh hungry ghouls. Being alone in a zombie filled apocalypse would just not be any fun at all without my missus.

And isn’t that what a good marriage should look like; sticking it out together even in the face of the walking dead who's only wish is to eat your brain. I’m just a romantic when it comes to the missus!

Happy Anniversary missus!


I agree, everyone should have a zombie plan. Even if it isn't a complex and detailed one, it's a start and you're already ahead of most of the human population.

Here is a cool little site with a collection of other people's zombie plans, might help with some ideas.


Nothing says happy anniversary like a post about flesh eating zombies. *snicker*

Your zombie action plan sounds like american evangelicalism to me --- especially the go it alone bit.

oh, and Happy Anniversary1

With the leaders of the church growth movement claiming that the answer to declining membership, due to folks leaving because of the lack of any substantial content, is teaching the flock to be “self feeders”; it’s exactly like my zombie action plan.

Post a Comment

About me

  • I'm Frank Gillespie
  • From The Haut South
  • Confessional Lutheran
My profile


Powered by Blogger