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Monday, December 31, 2007

Compliment Of The Year For 2007

And the compliment of year for 2007 goes to…..Will! Will is a student in my Sunday school class as well as an active participant for our congregation’s youth group.

So what was his compliment? “Mr. G., when we first came here I didn’t really think I’d like to go to Sunday school class. Most of the other ones that I’d been to treated us like we were stupid or something. You never talk down to us and that’s cool. We get enough of that in school and other places.”

Thank you Will! I’ve always taught you guys the way I do because I know you guys are not idiots. You guys also have the advantage of understanding that Christianity didn’t begin the day you were born and that’s something many an adult has a great deal of difficulty with.

Sometimes we adult types think the world evolves around us (something you guys are often accused of) and are burdened with notions of how we want things to work. Too often we adult types talk big about having the faith of a child but then fall back on philosophy 101 to make defense of theological positions instead of Scripture.

So at the end of the day, this adult could not receive no higher compliment than a thank you for not treating you like you’re stupid.

The picture in this post is Will posing, while playing pizza crust Jenga, for a picture that he knew would be posted here. Not only is Will exceptional bright, he’s clearly showing what a good sport he is.

Lutheran Carnival LXVI

Lutheran Carnival LXVI is up and running over at TheoCon. Ritewinger has chosen to highlight the founder of his seminary, Albert H. Schwermann. Be sure to stop by say howdy and thank him for doing a great job!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A New Blog For Your Consideration

A friend of mine, a member of the priestly caste emailed me a link this morning to a cool new blog; Priestmanship.


Priestmanship is described thusly; "The art of thriving in the ministry without actually being a winsome individual with a soul-winning personality".

Priestman’s first post is on the delicate nueances of removing the national battle flag fron the chancel of the church.

What a hoot! Be sure to pay Priestman a visit and thank him for his valuable contribution to the art of priestmanship.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Uncle Frank's Favorite Gift Of The Year Award 2007


Well, it’s time for the annual and highly coveted Uncle Frank's Favorite Gift Of The Year Award for Christmas presents. And the winner this year is, drum roll please… a PETA t-shirt from my niece Valerie! A big thank you to my favorite niece!

To win said prize, Valerie turned once again to an old faithful, the t-shirt. By exploiting her uncle’s love of eating cute, tasty animals, she was clearly the favorite from the start.

For previous years winners go here and here.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Frohe Weihnachten!

From Isaiah 7:13-14:

“Hear then, O house of David! Is it too little for you to weary men, that you weary my God also? Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.

I’ve spent a lot of time during the season of Advent this year studying this text. For our middle school Christmas party extravaganza we looked at this text to point out that Christ can be found on every page of Scripture not just the New Testament. Too often I think we separate the Scriptures and in doing so fail to see that Lord of the Old Testament is the Lord of the New Testament. He is one Lord who speaks of His promise to His chosen people of Israel. The Christ, born of a virgin, is the promised one spoken of to redeem all nations by His grace.

I love the Gospels; don’t get me wrong and think I don’t. But I love spending time in the Old Testament as well because it shows that the Father always loved his children enough to send His son. The Old Testament shows us that Jesus isn’t just God’s plan B fix.

So tomorrow we celebrate Immanuel, God with us, the babe in Bethlehem who was born to become the propitiation for our sins. The promise made to Ahaz, delivered by Isaiah, has been made flesh and has redeemed all through His substitutionary atonement on the cross. What greater gift to humanity could there be?

Merry Christmas from both the missus and myself to our families and friends, whether we’ve met or not, as we celebrate this blessed event.

Friday, December 21, 2007

My Favorite Xmas Narrative

Taking a lead from this and this, I’d like to share my favorite Xmas narrative from first chapter of Mark, verses 49-52;

Come they told me, 
A new born King to see, Our finest gifts we bring, 
To lay before the King, So to honor Him, 
When we come. 

Little Baby, 
I am a poor boy too, 
I have no gift to bring, 
That's fit to give the King, 

Shall I play for you, 
On my drum? 

Mary nodded, 
The ox and lamb kept time, 
I played my drum for Him,
I played my best for Him,
 Then He smiled at me, Me and my drum. 


So, what’s your favorite Xmas narrative?

Jesus Didn’t Love Me…

I guess Jesus didn’t love me but three days last year…

The sign is from a little country church that I pass by on the way home every night. I know these folks mean well, I do. I just got a chuckle thinking about the consequences of cute sayings on church signs.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Move Along Folks, No Rage Here

Two nice individuals who commented on my Giving Emergents Equal Time post seem to believe that I was writing said post in a fit of rage. Nothing could be further from the truth (of course, thinking like an emergent, truth if fluid and irrelevant until properly discussed, so take that for what it’s worth).

If I was writing in a fit of rage I certainly would not have said “I certainly understand emergents rejecting most of what passes itself off as Christian these days. The whole “meeting them (the unchurched) where they are at” and “don’t talk to them about church stuff, we don’t want to scare them away” approach to evangelism makes us sound no different than the local glee club down the street.”

But where I think my two anonymous commenters go wrong is that they place the mission before the message. For many in our beloved synod, evangelism and the gospel can be separated as long as we are reaching out to the unchurched.

This explains how we can embrace those who understanding of what sin is and how we are brought to faith even though their view goes against Scripture and even though we have already spoken against these heresies in our confessions. As long as we are doing something, that the important thing.

What’s missing in the new love fest with the emergents is condemnation of their core belief that by our own will and through meditation, one can by his work and preparations come to faith and have an understanding of God. If this were possible, there’d be millions of Tibetan monks who would be Christian.

Scripture teaches us that faith is not some decision that we are able to make upon serious reflection. Faith only comes to us by grace externally. But even saying that wouldn’t be allowed in the emergent church because that is an absolute and absolutes aren’t allowed. To quote the father of the emergent church Brian McLaren: First of all, when we talk about faith, the word "faith" and the word "certainty," we've got a whole lot of problems there. What do we mean by "certainty"? If I could substitute the word "confidence," I'd say, yes, I think there are things we can be confident about, and those are the things we have to really work with”

I do believe that we should have a conversation with the emergent and that we should tell them that they are dead wrong and that they are leading people away from Christ. But that’s not what we are doing. Instead, we invite them to talk to a youth workers conference to help us understand how to retain youth.

That we invite people who think we can look inward to discover salvation should solicit rage. But with me it does not. It only brings sadness that we run after every fad we find instead of clinging to Christ where faith is sure, and yes, absolute.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Lutheran Carnival LXV

Lutheran Carnival LXV is up and running at Not Alone. Pastor Paul Siems introduces us to his grandfather, a pastor who preached in both German and English. Be sure to stop by, say howdy, and thank Pastor Siems for doing such a great job hosting!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Get Out Of Church

From the December “Evangelgram” a monthly E-publication highlighting outreach efforts in LCMS Congregations:

So, how can a church reach out to the unchurched families of its neighborhood at Christmas? The list, of course, is long. But in our little Storm Lake church we like to create a big event. Here’s what we did last year.
First of all, we put together our ideas for a big Christmas program/party. We prepare dramas, choirs, special music, games, gifts, and food. We try to have something of interest for all age groups. Considering our goal, we feel free to com­bine the sacred and the secular. We make sure the Gospel message is repeatedly pro­claimed during the event.
Second, we rent a neutral space, a place where the unchurched feel comfort­able in attending. This year, we are renting the big lobby area of our middle school. Here we have lots of space for all of our program activities.


Ok, I’m going to put the best possible construction on the first point and say that combining of “the sacred and the secular” is the inclusion of Santa Clause. Not my thing, but I do understand that some people insist on including make believe characters into church functions for the benefit of our ragamuffins.

But the second point… that needs a little scrutiny. Every time a district or synod official walks into my congregation, we have to listen to how we could just reach more unchurched if we start looking more contemporary in liturgy and hymnody.

So with that train of thought, more and more of our congregations are implementing blended, praise and contemporary styles to attract new potential members. It must be noted that a “little” bump in the road for those who want to throw out the historical liturgy has been the overwhelming success of a real live hymnal, Lutheran Service Book. LSB flies in the face of the popular notions that congregations just want everything printed in a bulletin and therefore have no use for hymnals. But that subject is another post and I need to get back on topic.

With my sitting on mission boards I've heard over and over and over that we need to not scare away the unchurched and that we need to “meet them where they are at”. Now with so many of our beloved synod’s congregations going the way of church growth, one would think that the unchurched might start wandering in. That clearly hasn’t been the case.

So what is now being put forth as evangelism? Why, just move your church function to a “neutral space”! I guess we are now expected to believe that if we take the church out of Church, maybe then our headcount will go up. Yeah, right. It only makes sense that the same folks that are in charge of what is being promoted as missions would recommend that we should move our venues to the high school glee club’s digs that we’ve being trying to emulate for years.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Giving Emergents Equal Time?

HAVEN'T YOU EVER WONDERED WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ALL THE YOUNG ADULTS IN YOUR CHURCH? WHERE HAVE THEY GONE? OR MAYBE THERE JUST AREN'T AS MANY? So how do we connect or reconnect with the post-high school and twenty-thirty-something? How do we reach out to them? YOUTH MINISTRY 2008 will explore the question of young adult ministry. Dr. Joel Lehenbauer, CTCR, will explore the nuances of the so called "emerging church" and what they mean for Lutherans. Dan Kimball, author of The Emerging Church: Vintage Christianity for Emerging Generations, will talk about this movement from the perspective of a practitioner. And Dr. Craig Oldenburg, adjunct faculty at Concordia University Nebraska, will facilitate conversations as to what it all means in reaching new generations for Christ. …You can read a review of Dan Kimball's new book, They Like Jesus But Not the Church by clicking here

Ok, I’ve had this sitting in my inbox for almost a month while trying to decide what exactly to do with it. I’m really at a loss as to how to respond without sounding like I’ve finally blown that last remaining gasket and gone moonbat crazy. That being said, I’ll give it a shot anyways.

First, let’s take a quick look at the review referenced at the end of the emailed paragraph by Rev. Terry Dittmer; as the Director of LCMS Youth Ministry Rev. Dittmer writes:

The new book from Dan Kimball, They Like Jesus But Not the Church, presents many helpful and challenging ideas related to reaching today’s young adult. Is it Lutheran? No. Is it theological? Not necessarily. Is it helpful? I believe it is.

Kimball begins by saying that church workers need to get out of our offices and into the coffee houses, brew houses and other places where young adults gather. For example, Kimball takes his laptop to Starbucks to write his sermons; as the opportunity arises, he engages in conversation with people who he encounters there – mostly young adults.


Where do I even start with that? Does being “helpful”, in spite of the fact that what Dan Kimball confesses is vastly different than what the church catholic and Lutherans specifically, validate and automatically give Kimball a opportunity to address those who would lead our youth? If the answer is yes, then why not invite Tom Cruise to speak on the topic of getting youth to read Scripture just because Scientology has reading programs? Xenu likes it when kids read so therefore it must be helpful and by default Xenu needs to speak, through his called and operating theatons, to our youth workers.

If inviting the vicar of Xenu sounds a little crazy, why in the world do we want to invite somebody who doesn’t like church and wants to start a whole new way to experience God?

Now, surely Rev. Dittmer doesn’t think that the new mission field we need to focus on is outside of the Divine Service does he? No of course not, that’s Kimball who that doesn’t like church. But wait, this is the same Rev. Dittmer who thought it was a good idea to send out in Youth Ministry E-Bulletin Special edition #3 the following:

MINISTRY SHAPES FAITH MORE THAN WORSHIP . . . If you want to influence a teenager's faith, have them serve meals to the homeless or do other hands-on service projects. "Involvement in community service is far more significant to the faith development of teens than involvement in worship," says Michael Sherr, one of the Baylor University researchers who conducted the study (Associated Baptist Press, February 8, 2007).

Wow, that sort of makes the puzzle a little bit clearer. I can certainly see why Rev. Dittmer might think Dan Kimball’s book might have something to say. With the inclusion of the study in the E-Bulletin and his review of the Kimball book I think we can honestly raise the question as to whether or not Rev. Dittmer “likes” the church or not. How the hell are we to put any good construction on the promotion of the promotion of experiential faith achieved outside of Church?

I don’t care if Dan Kimball likes the church or not, that point is irrelevant. What is relevant is that we are giving equal time to somebody who has rejected what Scripture and our Confessions have always stated Church is and where the Church can be found. Just because somebody thinks they discovered a new new way of doing things doesn’t mean they need to speak to a conference of youth workers. That would be like inviting somebody that thinks God is merely a Giant Spaghetti Monster to the conference. Would such a person be Lutheran? No! Is such a view theological? I’m gonna say no to that one as well. Is it helpful? No! Unless of course, you don’t like church and wish to start worshiping a new god at the local Olive Garden on Sunday morning.

But I’m getting off topic and probably need to veer back into this emergent church garbage.

The main reason for my hesitation is that the theologies of these emergent “church” folks are all over the map. The one thing that does seem to unite emergents is their rejection of all things modern and a desire to retreat to a more experiential communion with God outside of Word and Sacrament. What they seem to long for is a reimagined church that redefines Scriptures as relevant narratives with some eastern mysticism thrown in for effect. Meditation and fellowship with the community are the emergent’s pendulum swinging back to hit Protestantism squarely in the head as a response to the pathetic mega-church growth movement that so spiritually starved Americanized Christianity. Seeking to feed themselves, but not looking to Christ to feed them where He said He would, they are doomed to starve as well precisely because they are looking inwardly to themselves as a community.

I certainly understand emergents rejecting most of what passes itself off as Christian these days. The whole “meeting them (the unchurched) where they are at” and “don’t talk to them about church stuff, we don’t want to scare them away” approach to evangelism makes us sound no different than the local glee club down the street. But meeting in a Starbucks or remodeled warehouses with U2 blaring over the speakers as hymnody to talk about how the Jesus narrative fits in with your narrative is just as wrong.

Recently Bill Hybol’s, (from Willow Creek, the Mecca of all things church growth) admitted that all the slick marketing and vapid, fluffy preaching, that looked more like Oprah than it did anything church, didn’t keep people in the pews for more than a couple of years. As it turns out, Willow creek had conducted exit interviews and had known for years that people were leaving because they were spiritually starved. One would think that with that admission that we wouldn’t be jumping on yet another bandwagon. But sadly that seems not be the case. Apparently we are ready to climb into bed with another fad that rejects that we meet Jesus where He says he will meet us, in Word and in Sacrament! Trading fancy plasma TV’s for grunge meditation sessions ain’t going to work either.

When I first read the email my blood pressure spiked because of what I have to listen to in the mission meetings that I attend. All the pieces of a puzzle that I wasn’t looking for fell into place. I remembered all the talk of meeting in coffee shops and finding ways to congregate without walls. What I remember most was the utter lack of any mention of Christ and how he feeds his sheep.

I would propose that the young people that we are getting so upset over losing are leaving our churches for the exact same reason that the people leave Willow Creek, they’re hungry for spiritual food that we withhold from them. In an effort to not offend anyone, we are causing the same starvation that we now complain and gripe about. And leave it to our beloved synod seek a remedy for by looking to the emergent church types. Sorry, but trading khakis for ripped jeans, happy clappy for grunge, and feel good theology for eastern mysticism isn’t going to feed them the spiritual food they crave either. They long to hear the voice of their Shepard and what do we do? We give ‘em another fad. Oh joy.

At one time I would have thought that the emergent church was not even a blip on the radar screen. I now think otherwise. And unfortunately and sadly, our beloved synod agrees.

Will Huckabee Be Left Behind?

I’m not getting into the subject of politics, I promise I’m not.

Tim LaHaye, the co-author of the “Left Behind” is endorsing GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee.

I wonder if Huckabee will advocate the building of a new temple in Jerusalem so that Jesus can return and establish a new earthly kingdom. If he does advocate building a new temple, and that event triggers the rapture, will he choose a pagan as a vice presidential candidate so that there is continued leadership from his administration if said rapture occurs should he be elected.

Peaceful Mohammadians’ Culture Under Attack

Canadian Muslim Teen's Dad Charged in Her Murder

Here’s another attach on the religion of peace up in Jr. America, better known as Canada. I am really sick and tired of everyone in this country not being able to understand other cultures in general and the Mohammadians specifically.

Yes, Muhammad Parvez probably killed his daughter for not wearing a traditional head covering, but we have no right to judge their culture. We need to understand that the daughter clearly disobeyed her father and failed to even understand her own situation. We also need to understand that the Mohammadians are a peaceful people and that the father’s reaction was probably a last resort. If you criticize this man you are only a bigot and a xenophobe. I would then ask you look into the mirror, see how bad of a person you are, and stop criticizing cultures that you are completely ignorant of.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

There Are Those Who Believe,


Which sci-fi crew would you best fit in with? (pics)
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

You are leery of your surroundings, and with good reason. Anyone could be a cylon. But you have close friends and you know they would never hurt you. Now if only the damn XO would stop drinking.

Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica)

88%

Deep Space Nine (Star Trek)

81%

SG-1 (Stargate)

81%

Serenity (Firefly)

69%

FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files)

69%

Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)

63%

Enterprise D (Star Trek)

63%

Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix)

56%

Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda)

56%

Babylon 5 (Babylon 5)

50%

Moya (Farscape)

50%

Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)

38%

Bebop (Cowboy Bebop)

38%

Battlestar Galactica, oh yeah baby! With the ongoing writers strike delaying season four of
BSG, I guess I’ll just have settle for watching reruns and the Romney campaign.

Hoping For Romney?

I’ve tried as long as I’ve had this blog, to keep the focus singular. I’ve toyed with the idea of expanding what I post here to include everything from pop culture to politics. But I resisted that urge and for the most part the focus remains my take on Lutherans and evangelism. With that said…

There is a part of me that almost wants Mitt Romney to win the Republican primary if for no other reason than to see the dialogue that would follow concerning what it means to be called Christian.

Romney and the Mormons say they are Christian. They say they believe in Jesus. But what they believe Jesus is and what part he plays concerning salvation could not be more different than what the historical catholic Church has always confessed.

I’m not sure whether the part of me that wants Romney to get the nomination is my masochistic or the sadistic side. But one thing is certain, all the shouting and yelling would certainly be fun to watch. I think it would be a hoot to see the evangelical right who don’t believe in writing down what it is that they believe and confess, writing long diatribes stating what it is that they believe and confess.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

But What Do They Do For Fun?

I was chatting with a family member the other day and I was asked how things are going with the youth group. I answered that we are doing pretty darned good and now have a core group that is four times what we’ve had in previous years.

The person that I share responsibilities with and I caught a little flack for wanting to do a Bible study twice a month. We were told, by people that should have known better, that kids don’t want to come back to church every other Sunday evening. We were told that their lives are already so busy that all they will want to do on Sunday evenings is sit at home and watch the Simpsons. We were told that the kids would never attend more than once a month no matter how many times a month we scheduled studies. One individual even went so far as to insinuate that we shouldn’t be wasting our time, after all they don’t care, so we should we bother?

But we stuck to our guns, went ahead and scheduled studies twice a month and now we have a core group that is as big as our congregation has ever had. This is in spite of the fact that we no longer have paid staff to act as cruise directors for youth. Anyhoo, back to the topic…

Said family member then asked, “What do you do on Sunday nights?” Well, I responded, we are expanding on some of the topics that we cover in my class during Sunday school. For the last few weeks we’ve been talking about early church heretics like Arius and all historical goodness leading up to the first ecumenical council held in Nicaea in 325. Ain’t that cool I asked. I swear I thought I lost the call because of the long silence. Finally, family member chimed in with “Uh, I guess, but what do they do for fun?”

Well, we do do things that many would acknowledge as “fun stuff” like playing Apples to Apples, ping-pong tournaments, and retreats to the beach or the mountains. But from the start of our regime we wanted the core of our gathering together to be centered around Scripture. This means that we show our youth that not only is theology, doctrine, and church history efficacious but all three are fun too.

I guess that if we thought all things theological were boring, we couldn’t do what we do and still keep ‘em coming back for more. But theology is fun, as is church history. We are not afraid to feed them real in-depth material that would have many of those life long Lutherans who know everything scratching their heads. And because we don’t treat them like they are six year olds, they are having fun.

So, we will always play board games, ping-pong, or foosball. But for serious fun, theology can not be beat.

P.S. for a great book on some early church history I recommend Leo Donald Davis’ s The First Seven Ecumenical Councils (325-787) Their History and Theology. A great read even if it does get a little after the Council of Chalcedon held in 451. Davis writes in such a way that enables the reader to clearly understand how Christ’s Church has always been under attack. Again, a great read.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Russia WILL Be Abaze!

From my inbox this morning;

December 6, 2007 .................... LCMSNews -- No. 82
World Mission sponsors tour to Russia
LCMS World Mission is sponsoring April 22-May 5 an Ablaze! tour to Russia and the Baltics, where the collapse of European communism brought the Synod in touch -- and in partnership -- with fellow Lutherans who remained steadfast in their faith through decades of persecution.
Hosting the tour will be LCMS World Mission Executive Director Robert Roegner and his wife, Kristi; LCMS First Vice President William Diekelman and his wife, Carol; and LCMS World Mission Regional Director for Eurasia Brent Smith and his wife, Jennie.
The tour includes visits with partner-church representatives and LCMS missionaries, a first-hand look at their Gospel ministries, and stops at historic and other sites in Moscow and St. Petersburg, Russia; Riga, Latvia; and Vilnius, Lithuania.
Cost of the trip, including round-trip airfare, is $3,779. The price also covers lodging, breakfast and dinner daily, tour guides, intra-European travel, all gratuities, taxes, and the Russia visa fee.

I would love to be a fly on the wall when our folks speak to the Russian churches and tell them that although they have a long liturgical tradition, and although their hymnody is clearly one that the church has always sung, they will need to implement something more dynamic to attract the over 50 crowd.

I would love to be there when folks from our synod walk in and declare that their churches not inviting enough because they don’t pass out jars of jelly as welcome gifts.


Yeah, I would almost like to go on this little trip, you know, schadenfreude and all.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Lutheran Carnival LXIV

Chaplain Matthew Boarts over at Living Sermons host Lutheran Carnival LXIV. Chaplain Boarts introduces us to another chaplain who saved men in the 101st Airborne from a German grenade. Be sure to stop by, say howdy, and thank Chaplain Boarts for not only for doing such a great job hosting the Carnival but also for serving in the Armed Forces.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Good Is Called Evil And Evil Good

The picture in the post is the upcoming issue of Time that will be dated December 3rd.

Notice the two people that Time has pictured to portray the opposite ends of the spectrum of good and evil, Adolph Hitler and Mahatma Gandhi.

This weekend I’ll teach my high school class what we mean when we say that justification is the doctrine on which the Church stands of falls. The old Lutherans confessed the doctrine of justification against the semi-Pelagian views of the Roman church which believed that we poor sinful creature cooperated in our salvation by the merit of our works. Read Article IV of the Augustana;

Article IV: Of Justification.
1] Also they teach that men cannot be justified before God by their own strength, merits, or works, but are freely justified for 2] Christ's sake, through faith, when they believe that they are received into favor, and that their sins are forgiven for Christ's sake, who, by His death, has made satisfaction for our sins. 3] This faith God imputes for righteousness in His sight. Rom. 3 and 4.


What I find amusing from my confessional Christian prospective (is there anything else with me?) is where Time has placed Gandhi. Where Gandhi belongs is right next to Hitler instead of being positioned across from him. What I also understand, clear and plain as can be, is that right beneath Gandhi, right beneath Hitler, belongs yours truly as well.

There is only one individual that can be considered good, Jesus Christ the God-man who was nail to the cursed tree for bad people like Gandhi, for bad people like Hitler, and (thanks be to God!) for bad people like Frank who all too often mistakenly looks to his own works as well.

But the world being what it is, will call good evil and will call evil good. Time magazine is certainly of this world.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Allah Bear Is Not Happy

This one’s for the missus who loves all things teddy bear;

From those peaceful Mohammadians, who think justice for a gang rape victim is 200 lashes, comes this story from Sudan:
A British primary school teacher arrested in Sudan faces up to 40 lashes for blasphemy after letting her class of 7-year-olds name a teddy bear Muhammad.


Ok, naming a teddy bear Muhammad is bad. But the question I have is; was the bear a moderate Mohammadian bear?

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Lutheran Carnival LXIII

The Lutheran Carnival LXIII is now up and running at the Barb the Evil Genius after a brief delay because of her evil computer trying to eat said Carnival. Be sure to stop by, say howdy, and thank her for doing such a great job!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

X-Mas Devotions For Unchurched Peoples

From the Reporter, (the official newspaper of the LC-MS) comes this little "gem";

Revolutionary Christmas, a 32-day set of devotions written for those who are “unchurched” or nonbelievers. Developed as an outreach tool by the ministry staff of Jefferson Hills Church, an LCMS congregation in Imperial, Mo., the new devotions are written “to engage the alienated or disconnected reader in finding the true meaning behind the Christmas story,” according to Lutheran Hour Ministries (LHM), St. Louis, which is distributing the set of prayers free via its Web site.

If the mission meetings that I am so privileged to attend are any indication, our beloved synod's newest non-program type of evangelism will fail miserably. What I hear over and over both from the district as well as mission minded circuit types, is that we need to meet people where they are at and not scare them away by bringing up “church” stuff. Sure they’re welcome, the “unchurched,” in fact they’re so welcome we’ll make sure our Sunday morning gatherings virtually indistinguishable from a high school glee club meeting.

And another thing, does anybody recognize Jefferson Hills Church? You should if you read this blog! These are the good folks that I wrote a post about last June. Jefferson Hills Church was the group that was inviting people to renew their baptism under a program entitled “Dunk’d”. This in spite of the fact that the Church catholic, and Lutherans specifically confess that we believe in one baptism for the remission of sins.

For the record, Jefferson Hills Church described themselves this way on their blog before the link was pulled: "Jefferson Hills Church is a Multi-Site Church specifically designed for people who don't go to church." Yeah, I agree.

So, now we are letting these yahoos write devotions? Maybe we should give Tom Cruise a call to see if he’ll help us reach that the Operating Thetan demographic trying to break free from their engrams and Xenu. Just a thought.

Friday, November 09, 2007

What Does This Have To Do With Sunday School Class?

"You are aware that I'm not really a wizard? And he said yes I'm aware of that. What I want you to do is to use your acting skills to portray a wizard for the duration of the film. So I said ok. And I said to myself, hmm, how would I do that? And this is what I did; I imagined what it would be like to be a wizard, and then I pretended and acted in that way on the day. How did I know what to say? They had my lines written down on a script. How did I know where to stand? People showed me.”

Any ideas on why this video was talked about in my Sunday school class?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Lutheran Carnival LXII

The sixty-second edition of the Lutheran Carnival is up and running at the Rebellious Pastor's Wife. Be sure to stop by, say howdy, and thank her for doing such a great job!

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Another Great Weekend

Yep, I had another great weekend with the youth last weekend. We finished our study on the canon and discussed how all of Scripture points to Christ and His work on the cross. Our discussion was really part two of our look at Revelation and what the old Lutherans as well as the church fathers thought of the Antilegomena texts. It’s funny how engaged teenagers can get over the most complicated theological issues when you don’t treat them like they are idiots, really.

Anyways, we finished up by discussing how some groups have develop entire theological doctrines around the book of Revelation that are in direct conflict with the Gospels and the very words of Christ.
So how should we read Revelation? Well, carefully and always through the Christological lens. There certainly those who think that all good theology comes from Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, but for some strange reason I just like Matthew or Luke or John. I guess I’m funny like that.

So we concluded our study by saying that we would all be better off if we paid closer attention to the Torah, the Gospels, and the Psalms instead of focusing all our energies on figuring out if George Bush or Dick Cheney hold the position of Anti-Christ (Just kidding folks, Fred Rogers passed away years ago).
Too often we all think we’ve outgrown the Gospels and we hunger for something more substantial. When we get to that point, we need to worry less about dragons and rebuilt temples and reread the reason our Lord was nailed to the cursed tree because of our sin.
We concluded by assembling ice cream awesomeness. The last picture is of Betty and her rendition of a Living Creature from Ezekiel drawn on the back of a pizza box.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Good Things Happening While Suffering Goes On

Often, I think, all of us wonder why it only seems like there are bad days. I’m not talking about just getting a little depressed, but rather after looking at what’s going on around us, thinking everything seems to be falling to pieces or getting really, really bad. Again, I think, all of us wonder why the suffering just doesn’t seem to stop?

Too often in Americanized Christianity, folks are told that if we just have the right kind of faith, God will bless us with prosperity, large savings accounts, and the best of health. All that’s required of us to eliminate or greatly reduce suffering, the canned script proclaims, is the faith to believe we can have such a faith to.

Here’s one for ya, have you ever wondered what the ramifications would be if the suffering did stop? Think about that very carefully for a second before you answer.

Both the missus and I both have a parent with oncological concerns. So with that in mind, imagine my delight in reading the following bit of commentary on Psalm 110 from Dr. Luther:

You would like to ask some questions here. Why does God peek through his fingers so long and allow so many enemies to become so strong and mighty and rant and rage against the Christian, so that there is no end? Could he not defeat them or make an end to all of them at once, that they cease to exist, or just suddenly make them vanish?
Answer: this shows only that we have a God who is for us and all of Christendom. For if he would have quickly thrown to the ground the Roman Empire or his other enemies in the beginning all at once and destroy them into ashes, where would there have been room for us to remain for us were we not yet born? Or if he were to do it now, where would the ones remain who should yet be baptized? But (says Hebrews 2), the saints before us would not be complete without us nor would they come to glory after us, although this work has already been established for a long time and the judgment has been rendered and has gone out in the presence of all the enemies.


What comfort even suffering can become when looked through the Christological lens. Christ suffered and defeated death, once and for all the saints. However, at no time are we promised by our Lord that all will be peachy and that we will not endure suffering. But rather we are promised that our time of suffering is limited only to this side of eternity.

Let’s look at Christ’s words as he sends out the apostles in Matthew 10:16-23, 34-39.

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. But beware of men, for they will deliver you up to councils and scourge you in their synagogues. You will be brought before governors and kings for My sake, as a testimony to them and to the Gentiles. But when they deliver you up, do not worry about how or what you should speak. For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak; for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you. “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved. When they persecute you in this city, flee to another. For assuredly, I say to you, you will not have gone through the cities of Israel before the Son of Man comes.

Wow, if that’s what’s in store for those who will feed his sheep, what does he say about the sheep themselves? In Luke 9:23-25 our Lord tells us:

Then He said to them all, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?

And in John 15:18-16:4 He speaks of the world’s hatred and the coming persecution:

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates Me hates My Father also. If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also hated both Me and My Father. But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning.
“These things I have spoken to you, that you should not be made to stumble. They will put you out of the synagogues; yes, the time is coming that whoever kills you will think that he offers God service. And these things they will do to you because they have not known the Father nor Me. But these things I have told you, that when the time comes, you may remember that I told you of them. “And these things I did not say to you at the beginning, because I was with you.


St. Paul in his second letter to the church at Corinth writes that he has an infirmity that was causing him to suffer. Did God relieve his apostle of his suffering? No He did not. . Read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

So what does all this mean? Well, we are to believe God’s Word when he says all are made heirs of heaven by Christ’s work on the cross. But we also need to remember that our reward by undeserved grace on the account of Christ is on the other side of eternity. Our time of suffering on this side of eternity is short but there will be suffering. Suffering began with Adam and suffering will end when Christ returns.

And the while, when all this suffering is happening, whether it be an inoperable cancer or a hip bone that for some inexplicable reason started dieing a few years back, babies are being marked with the cross of Christ in the sacrament of Holy Baptism. Sunday after Sunday our Lord feeds his suffering sheep through His spoken Word by His called and ordained servants. And with own Body and Blood, in the sacrament of the Eucharist, he feeds those same sheep. Through the hearing of this Word, Christ’s church grows.

And as long as Christ’s Church grows we should rejoice even as suffering goes on around us! If we keep our focus on Christ and His gifts, our suffering may not be pleasant, but it certainly becomes more tolerable.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Not Posting, But Sitemeter Is Clicking Away


I’ve been busy again this week so I haven’t had a lot of time to post. I have several things I’ve been working on, but they just need to be tweaked a bit before I put them up.

One of those things happens to be fun stuff with my favorite Madison Avenue marketing program, er, movement, Ablaze!. However, it’s really hard to poke fun at folks who think that being on fire to count critical mission moment events when it seems half of California is burning. Well, thank you west coast for ruining my happy fun time.

With that being said my Sitemeter is just clicking away with folks searching for ways to put out fires (truth be told this has always been a popular search) and pictures of said wildfires. So again, thank you California. In spite of my lack of posts, you're still coming through for me.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Lutheran Carnival LXI

Lutheran Carnival LXI is now up and running at House, M.Div.. The post submitted by yours truly even garnered a comment by the theological curmudgeon. Which post? You'll need to go visit to find out.

So, please stop by, say howdy, and give Rev. Gregory House a big thank you for doing such a great job! And would somebody please tell Rev. House what a table of contents is for…

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Killer Search

One of the things I love about Sitemeter, aside from the fact that I can track dolts who think they can comment anonymously while railing against the same, is seeing how folks find my site. Lately, search engines have been directing people my way when they type in the usual “How to put out a fire,” “Ablaze!”, and “National youth gatherings.” All of that is expected of course given the singular focus of this blog.

But yesterday somebody typed in “5 ways to kill a man what does psychopath refer to?” into Google and I came up as hit number 2 of 58,100 possible sites. The reason I was even in the queue was because of my post entitled ”The Death Of Captain America And The Church Growth Movement” (sort of timely considering the preceding post) where I wrote “Alienation is one of the quickest ways to kill readership whether the character be a Harry Potter or a Steve Rogers.” Uh, for that sentence I'm the second hit?

My only question is who the heck enters “5 ways to kill a man what does psychopath refer to?” and expects to get a good answer from Google? Wow, fallen world indeed.

A New Captain America

The Quesada continuum is at it again. A while back I wrote a short little piece on Marvel Comics asinine idea that it would be good to kill off Captain America. With the idea that controversy creates increased sales, Steve Rogers was gunned down by his super spy girlfriend on the steps of a New York courthouse. For the benefit of a short up tick in sales by curious people wanting to scoop up collectors’ items, a character that had been created in 1941 was sacrificed.

To be honest, Captain America 25 was sold out all over the country by 1pm the day it came out. Before the doors even opened at the local comic book shops, issue 25 was all over Ebay, sometimes bundled in groups of ten by distributors (who supposedly had no prior knowledge of the event but had the fortune of ordering oodles of extra copies) for all to cash in on the biggest score since the death of Superman back in the early nineties. Every news network, including the cable channels, featured stories of the demise of the comic book legend. The Q-continuum succeeded in creating the necessary buzz and when all was said and done, and the sales numbers were added up, Marvel declared “mission accomplished.” Oh joy.

But the sales numbers are now back to where they were at before the death of Steve Rogers. The brief extra traffic into the local comic book shops was no different than people slowing down to catch a look at that an accident on the side of the road; a sick fascination with death no different than what we see every day on the way to work on the local interstate

Comic books geeks everywhere were sure that this was merely a short term screw up by the Marvel editorial staff. There was always hope that the body lying on the slab was merely that of a shape changing Skrull or even a Life Model Decoy (just a fancy name for a robot). There was a time at Marvel when dead meant dead, but there was always the possibility of an out as long as there was imagination. But the Q-continuum has other ideas and very little in the way of that whole imagination thingy.

Last week the continuum released its newest vision for Captain America. With a new outfit, the living symbol of America now gets to carry guns and knives with an updated costume designed by Alex Ross. No longer carrying only his defensive and iconic shield, this new “captain” has the weaponry to be relevant in the world in which we live today. Marvel editorial staff won’t say who this new Captain America is but they promise that it isn’t a resurrected Steve Rogers. I could only find one sketch released by Marvel where this new “captain” wasn’t clutching a pistol. Again, oh joy.

Yep, in an effort to try to get those one visit customers to come back one more time, they’re at it again. This proven to fail business model, where the faithful readers who month after month, support both Marvel and the local shops, are being throw aside for the sake of buzz which will only provide short term gains at best. Instead of writing great stories of a beloved character that will keep folks coming back for more, the continuum has created a new character for the masses.

Does anyone at Marvel really think that this is a good idea? The New Coke model has been tried over and over with identical results, failure. The idea that if we just get ‘em in the door they’ll want to stay is flawed insofar as that those who are passionate about a character are alienated and shoved aside to make room for, the less or not at all invested, newcomers. By making the local comic book shop unrecognizable to the fans, what does the continuum think these new non-fans are going to be attracted to? How long will Marvel take to write stories that will actually be part of the novice’s canon, one month, six months, a year or two? How long will it take for the stories written for these curious newcomers to become imaginary stories or just part of an alternate reality? Will those who were only marginally invested to begin with, stay when Marvel shoves them aside to make room for more non-fans by throwing out their canon?

Fans want good stories to read. As long as the story is true to character and well written, the true fan will be back month after month shelling out a hard earned $3.99 for a single issue. Killing off your main character is stupid all by itself. Replacing that same character with someone or something that no one can recognize, is so far beyond dim-witted it defies description. The Quesada continuum has decided that they would rather reject and kill the Captain America most of us grew up with for a new character for a few interviews and public attention by the national media and all at the expense of those of us who grew up with Steve Rogers. The Quesada continuum has decided that not only is Steve Rogers disposable, but so are his fans.

I guess at the end of the day it could be worse, Quesada and company could always do something really moronic like change the color of the incredable Hulk from green to red.

Now aren’t you guys and gals glad I can get off topic every now and then….

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

A Great Weekend!

Wow. I only had about five hours with the missus this past weekend. Because of a meeting that I didn’t actually receive an invite for until five days before it was scheduled, (even though the meeting had been planned well over three weeks before) my Saturday was ruined.

Sunday’s Divine Service as well a pretty well attended Sunday school class took up the morning of my remaining “day off.” I didn’t leave the kirch as my drive home, with the cost of gas being what it is, would have dipped further into my wallet as well as leaving me stuck in my truck for another hour and a half. I already spend too much time in said truck so I just hung around.

But hanging around allowed me to wash my truck which has been the blunt of many a pigeon jokes at work. The extra free time gave me a chance to exercise my artistic side and work on a requested desert scene. I then laid out the basic groundwork for a “little country church in snow covered mountains” scene that my missus has asked for. Yep, that turned out to be a productive day. But does productivity equal a great weekend?

Nope. I would have been just as content catching up on some reading while telling the wife to keep it down as her favorite football team can't hear her if they are, quite literally, a thousand miles away, no matter how loud she yells at the TV screen.

What made it a great weekend was the Sunday evening Bible study with our youth group. There are few things more awe-inspiring than seeing a group of teenagers actually becoming engaged in an argument on the canonicity of the book of Revelation. (Uh, just so we all are clear, Revelation is in the canon. If you don’t believe me, just look in the table of contents it’s there, really.) To see them excited about something other than Gamespheres or Xcubes was the really a treat. And watching them all have fun and not minding playing Apples to Apples even though we had purchased the “Bible” edition was too cool.

Our youth group participation had fallen in recent years for a variety of reasons. It’s not always easy getting them to “give up” their weekends. As a congregation we have to compete with every sports activity ever conceived, parents that think that church activities are just one more thing, as well as our ongoing battle with a society where absolutes are considered small minded and should be discouraged. It has been and will always be an uphill battle going against our culture.

But slowly and surely the youth are starting to come back and give the group another try. Very, very cool. By offering a consistent gathering where the Bible is the core of our study followed by great food and games that don’t treat the kids like they’re idiots, they are returning. And they are having fun to boot!

And finishing the evening by dropping in over at LongEyeMoose’s place for a twelve year old single malt, well, that was just icing on the cake.

Monday, October 08, 2007

One Of These Things... Part Deux, The Answer

I just about forgot to give my answer to the second of the One Of These Things posts. I’ve been a little busy on the vocational side of the house here in the haut south. I was only home for two weeks last month and clearly my posting suffered. So I’m back now and hopefully I’ll be able to post with a little more frequency.

The one picture that is not like the others is picture number four. While some folks thought the first One Of These Things was really a trick question, it was this post that I was having a little fun. In the first three pictures, three different Christian bodies, (as in denominations, but none of them Lutheran. I just don’t believe this a Lutheran vs. everybody else issue.) are at least talking about Jesus.

A number of folks seem to think that my criticism of the national youth gathering was focusing on what they were doing. Nothing could be further from the truth. My criticism was of what the focus of the national youth gatherings seemed to be. Nearly everybody that either I talked to personally or who commented on my comments brought up the fact that the highlight of the gathering was the emotional impact of the event. One of the kids in my youth group had said they enjoyed the national gathering precisely because didn’t remind them of church. I’ve said ad nauseam that I have trouble supporting events that say purport to be church but has to be explained as church. At the end of the day I wasn’t criticizing what the kids were “doing” but where their focus was.

The reason that is important is that Christ and His gifts are objective rather than subjective. Nothing we do effects the gifts themselves. But if we look inward and make those gifts dependent on how we feel, we have taken our eyes off the prize, Christ.

With that being said, picture four “looks” like something we do in church every Sunday. But looks can sometimes be deceiving. The Unitarians in picture four do not preach Christ crucified as the only way to the Father. Instead the Unitarian congregations put forth a theology where the all paths lead up the same mountains, if such a mountain even exists, and espouse that week after week. So while pictures two through four look like church, the Unitarians rejecting the Way to the Father and embracing a generic more “loving” and inclusive god, are by their very confession not Church.

So again, the second post was the trick question. Most everybody got the joke, some unfortunately didn’t. Hopefully, this post will clear up my position just a little bit. We shouldn’t focus on what we do, but rather the focus should be on the Him who should always be at the core of the Divine Service as well as all our theology, the Crucified Lord, Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God.

Lutheran Carnival LX

Lutheran Carnival LX is now up and running at the Lutheran Carnival site. Please stop by, say howdy, and give Dan a big thank you for doing such a great job! The next carnival will be at House, M.Div. Posts are due by October 19. The Carnival is due up on October 23.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Absurdity Running Amok

I opened my email this morning to find a very enthusiastic person telling me about a recent “Mother Daughter Church Planting” seminar. (those are his quote marks, not mine) He included in the body of his email a link to (Dynamic Church Planting International) DCPI which provided the training material and promotes itself as
"Equipping leaders, churches and associations to impact the planting of one million dynamic churches to reach the world for Christ."

DCPI was founded by Paul Becker who recounts his special calling thusly:

My prayer retreat began on June 13-14, 1997. I spent the first evening and morning in a motel room near San Diego, CA, reading the Bible, and asking the Lord for His vision. On the afternoon of the second day, I drove to Palomar Mountain for a hike. I prayed that the Lord would communicate his vision for DCPI to me. As I walked along the Upper French Valley trail, the Lord impressed these words upon my mind: "Plant a Million Churches." I didn't hear an audible voice, but the words were very clear.

So Paul Becket founded DCPI and dedicated his life to growing the kingdom by starting new churches. Why start new churches? Well, DCPI puts it this way,

Our answer then must be church planting is critically important because it honors God and spreads His fame among the nations. Church planting reflects the light of His beautiful, perfect character through every dark corner of the planet. It brings praise to the One who came to seek and to save those who are lost....John Piper (in his book The Pleasures of God (Sisters, OR: Mulnomah Publishers, Inc., 2000), p. 110) put it this way: "The aim of missions [we might add, and of church planting] is to bring about the obedience of faith among all the unreached peoples of the world. But that is not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal--even of faith and obedience--is 'for the sake of his name.'"


Anyhoo, this very enthusiastic mission minded person and his Lutheran (LC-MS) pastor went to the seminar to learn how to be more mission minded than they already are and bring about that obedience of faith that DCPI promotes. Believe it or not, there are a surprising number of organizations willing to come in, evaluate your process, and offer up suggestions as to how to increase your productivity so that you can reach as many folks as humanly possible

Included in the body of the email were links to three videos presented at the seminar as instruction and training tools. The three links were
1. 'Evangelism Linebacker'
2. "Mr. Back Pew Warmer"
3. "Harvest"

Recognize any of the videos up there? Of course you do! I posted the 'Evangelism Linebacker' video as an mission idea gone absurd. Apparently, “Mother Daughter Church Planting” seminar is taking videos to heart and showing them to get the troops motivated to grow the church for Jesus.

Boy, I glad some people are finally coming to their senses and throwing out all that old stuffy way of growing the church through preaching the Word purely and administering the Sacraments rightly. Just think how much more we could grow the church if only we used simple business models! If only…

Gosh, now my brain hurts! I can't seem to figure out which Earth of the multiverse I'm on!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Preparing For Sunday School

I apologize ahead of time for the lack of a decent post this week. I’m out of town and stuck in a rat trap hotel trying to put together my Sunday school lesson. Needless to say, that task will certainly be keeping me busy.

This Sunday we start our study on the Confessio Augustana. Last week our vicar gave a history lesson on the politics and the different theological battles going on that led up to the reading of the Augsburg Confession in 1530 at the Diet of Augsburg.

Where do we start? Why, at the beginning of course:

Article I: Of God

1] Our Churches, with common consent, do teach that the decree of the Council of Nicaea concerning the Unity of the Divine Essence and concerning the Three Persons, is true and to be believed without any doubting; 2] that is to say, there is one Divine Essence which is called and which is God: eternal, without body, without parts, of infinite power, wisdom, and goodness, the Maker and Preserver of all things, visible and invisible; and 3] yet there are three Persons, of the same essence and power, who also are coeternal, the Father the Son, and the Holy Ghost. And the term "person" 4] they use as the Fathers have used it, to signify, not a part or quality in another, but that which subsists of itself.
5] They condemn all heresies which have sprung up against this article, as the Manichaeans, who assumed two principles, one Good and the other Evil: also the Valentinians, Arians, Eunomians, Mohammedans, and all such. 6] They condemn also the Samosatenes, old and new, who, contending that there is but one Person, sophistically and impiously argue that the Word and the Holy Ghost are not distinct Persons, but that "Word" signifies a spoken word, and "Spirit" signifies motion created in things.


Yep, I’m going to have fun!

Lutheran Carnival LIX

Lutheran Carnival LIX is up and running at Full Throttle and an Empty Gas Tank!! The Carnival gives us a quick look at John Behnken, a former president of the LCMS. Be sure to stop by, say howdy, and thank Disgruntled World Citizen for doing such a great job hosting!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

How Sunday School Class Can Cause Sleep Loss!

Ok kids, I’m going to give you a few simple tips to help you wreck havoc on your Sunday school teacher’s sleep schedule. I’m sure you little ragamuffins know all sorts of way to deprive said teacher of sleep, but I’m certain with my recent experience, this will do the job in the most efficient manner possible.

1) Get a Facebook account and say you are interested in relationships with either men or women.
2) Get a Facebook account and say that you are an atheist.
3) Make sure in Sunday school class that you tell all the less informed slack jawed yokels that Christianity is nothing more than an amalgamation of a bunch of ancient religions.
4) Make sure you mention that all religions, both ancient and modern, including those made in America ones, have equal merit in our discussions during Christian education hour on any given Sunday morning.
5) Be sure to bring up the fact that in your three or four years of high school that you have done exhaustive interviews with your Mormon friends and they “don’t exactly” think they will become gods of their own universe, only that they will become gods. After all, those are different, aren't they?
6) Remind your teacher that any talk of absolutes and condemnatory statements against heterodoxy and within the context of a Sunday school class will only make you angrier than you already are.


Remember to do all these things and you will succeed in making sure that your teacher is so frustrated that he will not be able to fall asleep until one in the morning, a whole three and a half hours after he went to bed.

Remember, that which keeps your teacher from sleeping are those same things he has been trying to teach you for the past few years that you now seemingly reject. He knows it is not in his power to impart any kind of saving faith to you. He was serious when he said that he believed Scripture when it states that it is faith by the grace of God in Christ given to us undeservedly by the Holy Spirit that save us from our deserved fate. He was also serious when he said Scripture teaches that we do have the capability to harden our hearts and reject that same faith. He believes that too and therein lies his sleeping problem.

You see, when you reject those same doctrines which Scripture so clearly lays out, he will lose sleep, and a lot of sleep at that. In spite of all that you have confessed which speaks against Scripture and attacks the Church, your teacher is not losing sleep because he is angry with you. He is losing sleep because he is so filled with sorrow that you, whom he considers a member of his family, may be lost and there is nothing he can do about it.

So there you go kids, have at it. And remember, if you do the job right, your Sunday school teacher may even lose sleep a second or third night depending on how well you did your job.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Last Supper…For Rats?

Hey, check this out.

Finally there is a poison that will be the last supper for those poor rats, Ratacide.

Uh, wait a minute here, is anybody going to tell the Mortein folks that, with the picture they are patterning their pest control on, Leonardo da Vinci’s Last Supper, that we should only expect two dead rats out of the thirteen rats attending that supper? That’s only a fifteen percent kill ratio! I’ll stick to the good old fashion traps myself. Maybe the good folks at Mortein should stick to more traditional methods of advertising, at at least hire a theologian worth a darn. While I applaud them for the effort but they still receive a failing grade for content.

Hmm, is it just me or does that sixth mouse from the left look like a little feminine?

Monday, September 10, 2007

One Of These Things, The Answer



Now it’s time to answer my own question and tell all you good folks where I was going with my One Of These Things... and One Of These Things... Part Duex posts. Before I give you my answer, let me just say that you folks that read (and can somehow make out and comprehend) the dribble I write are awesome. Only one commenter fell for the “trick question” and that wasn’t even for the post I intended to be the punch line. We’ll get into that a little later in the next post though.

The one of these things that wasn’t like the others in my first post was picture number 1. All of the pictures but number 1 are of rock concerts. Number 1 is of an event that is meant to be a worship and praise service for youth.

Most of you knew where I was going with this because of previous posts. I've asked the question before and I'll ask it again, if something has to be explained as church to youth is it really church at all? My thought is almost always no, it usually isn’t church if it needs explanation. That kind of reasoning is reserved for art and in my humble opinion, is always suspect.

How many kids come back from national gatherings (this applies to all Christian denominations, not just LCMS) walk into the sanctuary, and wonder why they have to sing hymnody reverently and are not able to throw balloons and beach balls around as part of the Divine Service. How many kids wonder why, if they feel so inclined, can’t just break into dance during a Sunday morning service, again, if they feel so inclined? What are kids to think when they can’t receive the same emotional high because the music is not loud enough nor are the songs sung playing on the local contemporary Christian music station? How many kids will look for a new church given the chance when told by modern day Schwarmerei who bow their knee to those living in purple palaces, that they are the best the church has to offer only to return to a congregation that says Christ offers all and did all? This playing on the emotions of youth, I would argue, makes it difficult for the same youth to make any identification with church if in fact one exists or existed at all.

Back when the Augsburg Confession was written the old Lutherans were accused of trying to reinvent or abolish the Divine Service (back then it was called the Mass). This simply wasn’t true. In Article XXIV 1-9, confesses;


Falsely are our churches accused of abolishing the Mass; for the Mass is retained among us, and celebrated with the highest reverence. Nearly all the usual ceremonies are also preserved, save that the parts sung in Latin are interspersed here and there with German hymns, which have been added to teach the people. For ceremonies are needed to this end alone that the unlearned be taught [what they need to know of Christ]. And not only has Paul commanded to use in the church a language understood by the people 1 Cor. 14, 2. 9, but it has also been so ordained by man's law. The people are accustomed to partake of the Sacrament together, if any be fit for it, and this also increases the reverence and devotion of public worship. For none are admitted except they be first examined. The people are also advised concerning the dignity and use of the Sacrament, how great consolation it brings anxious consciences, that they may learn to believe God, and to expect and ask of Him all that is good. [In this connection they are also instructed regarding other and false teachings on the Sacrament.] This worship pleases God; such use of the Sacrament nourishes true devotion toward God. It does not, therefore, appear that the Mass is more devoutly celebrated among our adversaries than among us

The article goes on to condemn various Roman church’s practices using Scripture as the rule and norm not false doctrine held up by tradition. I know what some of you are already thinking; “but Frank, see, church tradition isn’t the rule and norm, the Bible is! As long as they hear the Bible, they are in church, so your argument has already fallen apart.” On the surface that does appear to be the case. But those who think that missed the part of Article XXIV that says certain ceremonies are needed to teach young and old bronze agers alike that our practices should reflect and even promote the theology given to us in Scripture.

Many of the people that I’ve talked to, both young and old, prefer that our youth attend a worship service that looks like a rock concert always seem to point out what an emotional event a national gathering was for both the ragamuffins as well as themselves. That’s fine. I am certainly not going to say that a tear has never rolled down my cheek during the singing of a hymn, more that once this happened to yours truly. However, Christianity as experiential spiritualism shouldn’t be a reason for attending what we put forth as a national event.

If we as Christians look for an emotional high, we are only looking inward and we’ve taken our eyes off Christ and his cross. Emotions are human and for that reason, emotions can lie and can be manipulated. The whole reason we do what we do in the historic liturgy is to focus on Christ and His gifts. Nothing that we feel will change what Christ has done for us and continues to do for us when we gather as a congregation.

For the record, I speak from experience on this matter. This is why I’m so passionate about Word and Sacrament being the center of the church and why I believe it’s so important to properly catechize youth. When I was growing up, I too looked for that elusive high I felt outside of church. That led to me spending fifteen years as an atheist because I couldn’t distinguish an emotional event from God’s gifts.

If one teenager or child has to have it explained to him or her that the purpose of a youth gathering worship service, whether it be a national Lutheran gathering or that little Baptist church on the north side of town, is not an “uplifting and emotional” experience but the administration of God’s gifts, then we all did something wrong. When we do this, we knowingly or unknowingly, emotionally manipulated our children into thinking that God’s gifts are dependent on how they feel.

Next post I’ll explain the reasoning for my choice for the One Of These Things, Part Deux post.