« Home | The 30 Hour Fiasco » | Hobos, Ivy Leaguers, And The Priesthood » | Lutheran Carnival XLI » | EVAT Strike Teams Begin Campaign » | Longeyemoose Seeks Counsel » | Lutheran Carnival XL » | Emergency Rooms And Joel Osteen. » | The Infant Priest Was Holy Born » | The Best Idea Since... » | Benedict XVI Is Now Training His First Apprentice » 

Friday, January 26, 2007 

Uncle Frank's Favorite Gift Of The Year Award 2006


Well, just a little bit of house keeping today. I was negligent in my duties last month and forgot to announce my Uncle Frank’s Christmas present of the year. I had camera “troubles” Christmas Eve and for one reason or another, I kept putting it on the back burner.

The coveted prize for 2006 goes to……….. Valerie, my niece, for the second year in a row. Valerie got me the Passing The Peace Protection Packet from the Old Lutheran website.The packet is advertised as “for safe and sanitary handshakes!” the packet includes the following:

1-Peace Passing Protective Mask
1-Hair Net
1-latex Protective Glove
8- Peace Passing Cards
1- Post Peace Passing Sanitizing Towelette

Valerie won this award because she understands her uncle. She understands that her uncle does not like to be touched. He doesn’t want hugs or pats on the back, and he doesn’t want to shake your hand. He most certainly doesn’t want to shake your hand right in the middle of the Divine Service’s liturgy. Valerie’s uncle just looks at this whole passing of the peace thingy as one big interruption to the liturgical service. Uncle Frank doesn’t want to hear about how much fun he missed at Men’s fellowship night. He doesn’t want to hear about how your cousin Lucy is doing after her colonoscopy. Truth be told, during the Divine Service, he really doesn’t care. He’s just hoping that Sven, two pews over, will shut up about how good the evangelism programs in Sweden are so he can receive the blessed Sacrament of the Eucharist sometime before dinner!

And Uncle Frank has a little bit of news for all of you, who for whatever reason, think shaking hands during the Divine Service is Biblical…it’s not! Saint Paul in Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, and 1 Thessalonians 5:26 doesn’t tell the readers of the epistles to greet each other with the holy handshake, he tells them to “greet one another with a holy kiss.” Saint Peter echoes Paul in 1 Peter 5:14 with “greet one another with a kiss of love.”So, unless you want to start doing what the Bible says to do and start puckering up to a slack jawed (and very furry) yokel, keep away from Uncle Frank during the Divine Service.

So, in closing, Uncle Frank is well understood by his niece. And she clearly deserves the coveted Uncle Frank’s Christmas Present of the Year Award for 2006. Uncle Frank plans to put the Packet to good use this Sunday, as He will be visiting a parish an hour south from his normal stomping ground. The reason for that, is yet another post…..

Uh, oh, Valerie! Better start looking around now for the Passing the Peace anticeptic lip balm for Uncle Frank. :-)

Valerie, what you really should start looking for is Uncle Frank's 2007 Christmas present. You've set a bellwether two years in a row now that you have to live up to. It may take some time.

Post a Comment

About me

  • I'm Frank Gillespie
  • From The Haut South
  • Confessional Lutheran
My profile

Links




Powered by Blogger