How Many Lawyers Does It Take To Not Write A Threatening Letter?

Stop me if you heard this one before… How many lawyers does it take to write an intimidating letter that threatens taking legal action without appearing threatening so their client can say that they never really meant to say they were threatening anybody but rather they would only be taking legal action if recommended by previously mentioned legal council?

The always awesome Mollie Z. Hemingway reports over at Brothers of John the Steadfast that LCMS, Inc. is using three full partners and one associate, directed by LCMS President Gerald Kieschnick, to continue the Issues, Etc. assault in a post titled Money, money, money which asks the question how much do three partners and an associate cost.

For what it’s worth, according to the Laffey Matrix the recommended rates for an attorney with 11-19 years experience are $375 per hour. I think it’d be fair to say that full partners would have at least that much experience and as the Laffey Matrix is reported be widely used to determine fees; it be reasonable to expect the figure to be in the right ballpark.

Mollie also is reporting, that’s what she does folks; she’s a reporter, that LCMS, Inc. is stating, via cut and paste mass email, that they haven’t threatened to take legal action against anybody in her post titled To threaten or not to threaten. From the reported email:

“The LCMS has not filed any legal action against Rev. Wilken or Mr. Schwarz. Further, contrary to what you may have heard, nor has the LCMS threatened to sue them. Apparently, Rev. Wilken has been telling people that the LCMS has threatened to sue him by referring to a letter our attorney wrote to his attorney encouraging them to negotiate in good faith. Rev. Wilken has taken part of the letter out of context and mischaracterized it as a threat by the LCMS.”

So is Pastor Wilken not being truthful or is he? From the letter that LCMS, Inc. sent to Wilken and Schwarz:

“Unless your client is willing to negotiate in good faith to finalize a mutually acceptable agreement in the near future, along the lines that were discussed last summer, we will be left with no alternative but to recommend that The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod prosecute the opposition against Madsen’s application and take action against your clients to enforce its rights to the trademark.”

I guess that recommending “taking action” against Wilken and Schwarz if they don’t give up their first and seventh amendment rights just to sit down and begin the discussion to end this ridiculousness shouldn’t be considered a threat. Really? Yeah, and is doesn’t mean is either…

Haven’t we seen this picture show before?