The God Squad, Or, A Priest And A Rabbi Walk Into A Bar...

Firsts things first, I’m not trying to steal another blogger’s mojo. I'm not, I promise.

With that out of the way let me state that one of my favorite daily reads is Robert Hunter’s Heresy Hunter. Mr. Hunter keeps up with and reports all the theological goofy (and dangerous) stuff that would drive the rest of us insane if we had to keep up with it. Now, if Andy’s right and I’m the Ablaze!™ Firefighter, then Robert Hunter would be the Lutheran Blogosphere’s equivalent of a fire chief. If you never had the opportunity to visit his site, give it a try, you’ll be glad you did.

I look to forward to Fridays not just for the ending of the work week but also the faith section in local newspaper. For me, the multicultural, all good dogs go to heaven, and all faiths are paths to the same mountain rubbish are the equivalent of a perusal through the comics page. I find these articles funny,not funny ha ha, but funny in a sad way, really. I think it’s important to know what’s going on in America’s version of Christianity and this is just one of the ways I go about collecting my information. Hiding one’s head in the sand thinking all will be better tomorrow works fine in Annie, but not so much in real life.

My absolute favorite column (for bad theology) is written by a priest and a Jew. Rabbi Marc Gellman and Monsignor Thomas Hartman write a column called The God Squad. I first became aware of them when a friend from church pointed them out responding to a question about who gets into heaven with the response; "any God that wouldn’t let Muslims in heaven isn’t one we would want to worship." "There are many paths to the same mountain" is a frequent response of theirs.

Anyhoo, I’ve been chomping at the bit since I saw the column printed in my local paper on July 13, 2007. A reader asked "the god squad" the following question:

You once said that not everything in the Bible is true, that certain things are more like stories with morals to warn us of doing evil. If that's true, how do I know what to believe that is in the Bible, and what not to believe? I don't want to believe in a fairy tale! I'm confused! -

Anonymous, Beaumont, Texas

I got two sentences into the response and then the convulsions started. When I regained conscience, I reread the two opening sentences:

We believe that everything in the Bible is true. We do not believe that everything in the Bible actually occurred.

The rest is here if you feel like you really need to experience what an ulcer feels like. But suffice it to say, I just dont think anymore really needs to be said as the first two sentences really state their position quite clear.

So, in conclusion, I’m not trying to steal the Heresy Hunter’s mojo and I should probably go back to reading one of the funny comics like Bizzaro if I want to read funny.